My Journey Through This Twisted World!

Not very many people know who i am or where i came from. all they know is that i'm from a foreign country and they automatically assume that i speak russia. Well... You are wrong! I am not russian. Here is a small part of my story that you can read and trough out time i will write more about it.that way you can have an understanding of who i am and where i came from!

i was born in a little town called Trubaiofca, Moldova in 1990. I did not come in this world alone, i was born with a twin sister. they did produce another little boy and a set of twins after us. like every child that comes into this worl, we had a mother and a father. the only difference was that, all they carred about was their drugs, alcohol, and any other illegal substance you can possibly think of. since the day of birth and so on the only think we can remeber is being left alone almost all the time. we were locked in the house for days at a time with no bathroom, food or any personal hygine equipment. so as you can imagine we lived in pure filth.
on top of that, it wasn't enough. They had to teach us somehow how to take care of ourselves in their obsence. And the way they though was best for us to learn was through abuse. to this day i can still count the scars on my head and body that my biological father has given me through physical abuse.
First winter i can remember was the coldest. Iremeber it well because it was the first time spending it outside in a grave yard. It was our birthday. the oldest Twins, me and my sister. our parents came home so drunk and out of their minds that they have forgotten they even had children. when they walked through the door they looked at us and they said, "oh look, our kids. and it's your birthday today" then after that they asked if we had any dinner for them. we were youn around the age of 4 or 5. we could hardly take care of ourselves, i don't evenm know what made them think that we would take care of them. well, knowing that there was no dinner for them they got angry and began to throw thinks at us. our only option right then was to run and try to hide. But No. that was not the case. He came after us and grabbed me by my leg and smashed my head on the edge of the bed. The blood began running down my face and i couldn't even cry. He just saw the look on my face and let go of me and was walking towards my sister. we grabbed the little ones took what blankets we could and took off for the door. that was our first birthday we remebered. the night we spent in the cementary was very cold. Fit the occasion!

Life sucks sometimes but we still have to deal with it.

I am so picky about who i date and who i let get close to me that it has turned into a disaster. I might have lost a few amazing people in my life tonight because of how ignorant i am.

One of those amazing people was my best friend. We talked about everything and anything there was to talk about, but thanks to my ignorance and picky lifestyle i might have lost that friendship that i absolutley loved. I guess what it really comes to in the end is that i have serious issues about letting people get close to me. That's what happens when your childhood was not the same as everyone elses, you don't let people get close to you because you don't trust anyone or aything.

LIfe is hard. We all know that, but what counts is how we handle every situation. I did not handle this one very well. I know i have more triles coming my way, but that's alright because I have the Lord to help me. And eventually i will learn to trust people and live a stress free life!! But for now, i am not going to change because some guy decided that he was in love with me and then changed his ways. It doesn't work that way!! I make my own rules and if you don't like them no one is asking you to follow them.

Make you're dreams come true and don't you let any guy or anyone change that!! Your the one that matters the most!!

Life is just too short to live in the past!!!

Every day of our lives we have problems, and when those problems accure it seams as if though the end of the world has arrived. But the truth of the matter is, there is no problem unless we let it be one.

There is a new lesson for each one of us to learn every day of our lives. Wether we choose to act upon it or not is entirely up to us, but the concequence that comes with each action cannot be decided by the natural man alone.
Learn while you still have time, learn to love, to be happy, to laugh as loud as you possibly can. Because in the end end it will not matter if you were succesful or not. What will matter is the lives you've blessed. Being happy and loving people can be a blessing to the least of your expectations!!!



That is my moral of the day. Hope everyone has something to learn in their life time and bless someone elses life.! <3